Who you need to be your Valentine to be successful
“Mummy I like being by myself.” My son said.
This was after I had had to step into a back and forth he was having with his sister who wanted him to play with her at all cost.
I had to explain to the sister that she needed to respect his desire to be alone and find she had to find something else to do to entertain herself.
Having a gentle disposition by nature, my son dislikes disappointing people. And I knew him making that statement was his way of asking me if he had done something wrong by refusing.
I told him that it was fine in fact being alone from time to time is very good.
It is very important to withdraw from the hustle and bustle of the world to enable one to dream, think, to plan, to better understand oneself and be comfortable and happy with oneself.
The season of love is here. And almost everyone and probably you as well is thinking about Valentine’s Day in some way.
You may be single or in a relationship. But regardless of which state you are in it shouldn’t keep you from spending quality time with the only Val that can push to success…you’ve guess it: it’s you, yourself.
In fact, you should be having Valentine’s day with yourself weekly or at most monthly.
Now, I am no psychologist. But since I have a keen interest in being a better person and I have few years behind me I know just how important it is to spend time with yourself.
My son still has quite a few years ahead of him before becoming a Nigerian youth like you, but I am happy he is learning to enjoy his own company because it is crucial to success.
So what am I trying to say to you? The first and most important relationship for you on planet earth is with yourself.
This relationship with yourself will make or break you.
It will also make or break all other relationships you have.
The nature of the relationship you have with yourself will either spur you to chase after your dreams or see you move through life aimlessly.
Most successful people have very healthy relationships with themselves and always take time away from the world to be with themselves.
Such moments away from the world as I said before are for: dreaming, thinking, planning, reflecting and about finding solutions to problems.
And it makes perfect sense:
if you do not dream how do you know what you want?
If you do not plan how you do get what you want?
If you don’t reflect how do you know if you are walking on the right path to success and life?
If you do not thinking about your problems how do you find solutions to them?
Attempting to do all these in the world (a noisy environment) rarely works out because the world is too distracting. Distraction now amplified by technology.
Now, if you are not taking time out to contemplate your life chances are that you are alive but not living.
What is the difference between being alive and living?
When you are alive the days just pass by. In fact all the days are the same: get up, go to school or work come back, sleep and repeat the cycle.
When you are living on the other hand every action you take serves a singular purpose of getting you closer to your goals or dreams.
The state of being alive is usually exhibited by the following category of people:
Those who haven’t started paying for anything with their own money.
Those who the little they have is currently been spent recklessly on distracting activities: phone, television, friends and parties.
Or those who have only a vague plan of what they want out of life. (That was me for very long while.)
Go to school graduate and get job, possible get married have kids and die.
Neither of the options I have listed above are a good way to live because during the later years of your life you will wish you had lived your life in a different way.
A way not so careless, a way not so wasteful, a way more purposeful.
As a youth you shouldn’t just be alive but be living consciously and be taking deliberate steps to a successful, decisive future.
Let me give you a clear example.
I have degree in Physics. And I love science.
But I love writing even more and perhaps If I had sat down an thought seriously about it when I was younger I probably would have opted for a course that would have seen me write since I love it more than I do sciences.
Our country is filled with people like me who started walking down a path and suddenly realised that they would do rather be doing something else.
Now, I am not upset about how things have worked out I am proud of my science background I enjoy the best of two worlds, science and art.
But truth be told it would have been good to know all that I am telling you now back then.
It would have been nice to have had counsel about important things like thinking and planning at your age.
About the importance of sitting with yourself, knowing what you are good at and knowing what you really want.
I had to find these things out all on my own with bits and pieces of advice here and there and doing a lot of reading and research and of course at not so young an age.
Now, this does not mean you cannot succeed at a later age. Success can and does happen at any age.
But I am sure you would want it to happen sooner rather than later. And I want that for you too.
Because there are two major advantages of knowing all this early:
You have a lot of energy and drive to throw into anything you would like to achieve.
And best of all you can afford to make a few mistakes on the way.
Time is currently your friend.
So essentially, I am asking you to give importance to yourself regardless of your current relationship status.
Always be a Val to yourself.
Put a premium on you it is the first step to becoming a success.
Now that you have seen just how important you are the next step is of course what exactly should you be doing with that time alone?
Imagine yourself as a gardener with an empty garden. Imagine that the empty garden is also you.
In other to have the best garden what do you do? You need to care for it diligently.
Clear it, plant on it, nurture the plants when they start to grow by providing it with water and sun light and keeping weeds and pest out.
That is simply you thinking, planning, reflecting and making decisions and finding solution to your problems.
If you do this with a lot of patience you will reap success.
In fact the surplus will be so much that you will now be able to give to others.
Because haven been successful with yourself it easier to be successful with others.
You are now fully capable of developing meaningful relationships with does around you.
So what should you do now? After analysing yourself from top to bottom it is time to start living.
Which simply means consciously engaging in activities that will see you achieving your goals.
As you spend more and more time contemplating you discover a lot of things about yourself.
Improve on the good aspects. When you identify problems areas fix them.
If for example you realise that you rather be dancing than cooking make the switch.
If you realise that you’re too shy and it hurting your chances at jobs opportunities or even relationships you can look for ways to overcome it.
So go off and master yourself then move on to conquer the world and fulfil your dreams.
I would like to hear what you think about everything I said. Post a comment below and lets talk.