The Nigerian lifestyle that gets you people for success

The Nigerian lifestyle that gets you people for success

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If you are going to to be successful in anything you do you have to learn how to get along with people. It’s  an aspect of your journey to success that you cannot take for granted or simply gloss over.

You may be more worried about your achieving your goals, grades and your c.v  but it is also good to be aware of the fact that you cannot be successful in a vacuum or a hole, you need people.

You need their help, support, mentor-ship and their approval.

This blog post is geared at showing how to by and large get allong with people. And reap the benefits along the way.

Some believe that they owe their successes to no one. But that is not true.

if you think about it someone else gave us life,food, some form of education or opportunity at least at  the very beginning. Getting along with everyone in general is necessary one way or another.

Aside the success bit you and I are social beings we enjoy the company of those around us. Been liked will boost your chances of success because people are more likely to give opportunities to  someone that appeals to them. It’s a very human thing to do.

So here we go try to make the following qualities a part of yourself if they are not already.

Smile

That’s easy I hope? People are generally attracted to  smiles. Think about the movies you know, whenever ever they want to portrait a person with a tough, strict or unfriendly personality such a person is usually unsmiling and stern faced.

To some smiling comes naturally to others not. You should know in which category you belong. If your unsure just ask around. Then work at it if you need to.

Have a positive disposition

Similar to smiling your ability to radiate positivity will get you a long way. Try to be someone who always sees the glass as half full instead of half empty.

Someone whose temperament is not easily dampened by the slightest things and even by big things. Issues, challenges, and problems are a part of everyone lives they are not unique to you.

Don’t be the one who cries about problems constantly. So much so that when people see you coming they roll their eyes. Essentially what I am saying here is don’t be a pessimist.

Nigerian lifestyle
Courtsey: Pixabay
Courtesy: Pixabay

Be helpful

When I was in my teens I noticed that one of my siblings was particularly loved by relatives and friends of my parents. Was I jealous? Maybe a little.

But I was more curious as to why that was so. I knew I was loved, we all where but it was hard not to miss the extra attention and approval he always seemed to get.

Or, the way adults eyes lit up whenever they saw him. It was years later that I will eventually solve this mystery. My brother was a very helpful person.

Whenever there was work to be done,the rest of us will quietly disappear into the dark like cockroaches.

He, however, was always willing to run errands and do things for people. So naturally everyone like him!  

If you seat back and think you will probably identify such a person in your own home. It might even be you. If it is kudos and keep it  up. It opens doors.

If you don’t have it in you it is a good habit to cultivate. A little note of warning here: do help genuinely. If  you only offer help to curry favour people will eventually find out and it will backfire.

Be polite and humble:

This should go without saying. But I realise that this has to be said more often that not to your generation.

I have come across a lot of rude young people and it aches the heart.They have no idea the amount of damage they are doing to their self-image.

Anytime you lose it by screaming, yelling, talking anyhow and cursing especially to your elders you’re viewed less favourably by society period. And that also applies even when you are in the right.

Let’s think about this for minute. I believe a number of young people are rude because they have  learnt it or they suddenly realise that the so called adults who have been telling them to behave are they themselves not well behaved.

But then the next question would be why on Earth would you want to copy a behaviour you do not like?

The natural order of things dictates that you look to your elders for guidance. But if your elders are not doing what is right you as an young adult can make the distinctions and  choose to do the right the thing.

Been respectful will open doors for you and take you places.

Showing off

No one likes a show-off. I don’t know if it’s just me but I seem to see a growing uncontrolled desire for the material among the Nigeria youths of today.

It did exist in my time too. But your time seems so much more alarming to me. Let’s pause again for a minut why do most young people like you want to acquire these material things?

So that you can show off!  Now showing off does get you attention, only, the attention you will get is  fake in that you will be surrounded by people who only want to get stuff off you.

That is you will have few real friends if any at all. And of course if you are really not comfortable and you spend all your time and money keeping up with the Kardashians it becomes a problem.

Why? because the funds that you should be investing in yourself so that you really can be as comfortable as they are is been spent on the latest smartphone or Brazilian hair.

This  picture below of some of the richest people on the planet was trending for while on social media.

These men dress so simply yet they have so much money! If you ask Mark Zuckerberg he will tell that it is a waste of good valuable time thinking about what to wear every day.

So he has what I might to call a simply school uniform. If you are familiar with him you will know his signature look.

 And with it he doesn’t have too think to much. He gets up gets dress and he is off going to make his next million!

I am not saying do not acquire the good things of life. But flaunting it will most likely attract the wrong type of crowd and keep the people you  really need away from you.

Courtesy: Pixabay

When  you interact with others stay focused on them

This was never a serious problem until the arrival of the smartphone. Now we talk to people with our mouth while our eyes and fingers are on our devices.

Sorry, but you really do not care about anyone or anything other than yourself. If you’re dividing your attention between your phone and the person you’re supposed to be talking to that is right in front of you that is the truth.

A lot of people struggle with simple human interaction like talking one on one or in a group because they choose to carry out most of their discussion through a lifeless machine.

Unfortunately that machine will not be the one conducting your job interview or getting you a boyfriend or a girl friend.

When it’s time to interact with living breathing humans beings put the phone away. And focus. I still remember vividly the hours of fun I shared with my boyfriend now my husband at the Lagoon front University of Lagos.

We would talk about anything and everything under the sun. Smartphones where rare then. They were just coming into Nigeria.

And I say it with confidence that one on one interactions beats chats and social media any day.

The message here is this: create a lot of time to see people in person you will make friends quicker that way and when with them put away the phone, avoid all other forms of distractions and pay attention to them. Giving them importance will make them feel valuable and they will find you likable.

Gossip

Don’t gossip it is one of the fastest ways of chasing people away from you.

My first real taste of what gossip really meant was when I had carelessly and thoughtlessly pass on information I had been told in confidence by a  friend in my junior secondary school. I had pass it onto the biggest gossiper in the class with the standard “don’t tell anyone. “

Now, why one earth would she respect a confidentiality agreement when I myself wasn’t?  Chuck it down to the stupid naive thinking of a teenager.

So of course the news spread like fire with the tag “ I heard it from Amaka.”

It effectively killed the relationship I was just forming with the person whom I had betrayed. I did apologise  but things when never the same again.

Now at that time, I hadn’t shared the information out of malice or spite. But I was new to the school and wanted to make friends.

So I had blurted out the information without thinking to sound interesting. I knew that I had done something wrong. But It will be years later when I will know that what I did had the name gossip.

Keep conversation between you and others private. You will earn both their respect and trust.

Avoid making quarrels personal

Take a look at this scenario:

She loves blue you like purple. You go on to list a hundred reasons why you dislike blue and why she should too or worse how loving blue makes her look stupid. Then she in turns says the same things.

Then you begin to get angry because you no longer view the conversation as a simple conversation but has an attack on your person.

Now note that the discussion did not start out being about either you. And it should have been kept that way. We take things way too personally these days and it has and does destroy a lot of relationships.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion so are you. The easiest solution is simply to agree to disagree.

We do not need to look far to find examples I know a quite a few friendships that have ended because of the 2019 elections.

Avoid that trap you will lose many friends and make no new ones if you are into character assassination during what should be healthy debates.

Be willing to take feedback about yourself

Take criticism gracefully: Very tough to do. But it will earn you a lot of respect if you can do it.  Aside from that it is invaluable feedback on your quest to be a better person.

I would like to point out though that not every criticism about you will be true. So you should learn to shrug off does that are wrong and work on those that are true.

Learn how to forgive, learn how to apologise.  

Last but definitely not least out of all the rest because they are one of the hardest things to do. But the respect you earn from being able to do these two is beyond compare.

So that’s it. If you would like to read up some more about making friends try here

Hopefully you have  learnt a thing or two. Is there anyone you think I missed out?  Comment below I would like to hear what you think.

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