Find Your Nigerian Lady Or Nigerian Man By Next Valentine
In my last blog post, I spoke about who you needed to first have as your Nigerian lady or Nigerian man valentine to succeed in anything including relationships. If you are yet to read it I will advise you to check out here.
If you are single and searching today’s post is primarily for you. I will be covering what you need to do to find him or her and hopefully you will be among those celebrating with others next year.
if you are already in a meaningful relationship then reading through will add to your knowledge and you can share and pass it on to anyone whom you feel will benefit.
Like I said in the last post before you build a relationship with somebody you must have a great relationship with yourself first.
If not you’re most likely to meet with failure in your relationship with a potential life partner.
Let’s face it if your life is a mess that is to say for example you are not happy with yourself as a person, then you cannot give happiness to another person because you don’t have it to give.
The statement you cannot give what you don’t have holds true.
I am saddened when I see descent ladies and men getting on years still desperately in search for their life partners. I really do not want that to be you in the later years.So here are my tips:
Start your search for your ideal Nigerian man or Nigerian lady early:
I often hear statements like: I want to finish school first, I am still young, I need to make money first etc That’s valuable amount of time you are planning to waste away.
There is no reason on Earth why you can’t date and do all of does things at the same time.
Life doesn’t always work in a straight line some people even get married before going to school so be prepared to be flexible.
That been said a good partner will understand when you need to study or make money and you too should have that discipline imbibed in you. How else are you going to successful?
After all, relationships are sweeter when you have a fulfilling life which most likely will include a good career and money.
Any partner that cannot respect your need to work or study is not worthy of you. Period. Pass such people over.
Have a loose template of your ideal spouse in mind:
You cannot go out searching for something if have no idea what it looks like also do not wait to be hit by love at first sight it doesn’t happen very often.
Instead have a loose list of what you would like your potential spouse to be like. Now the list has to be loose because you are most likely not going to get exactly what you want.
In fact you will not get exactly what you want because perfection doesn’t exist anywhere on planet Earth.
For example when I was your age I had dreams about spending my life with a very tall six packed dude (I had cousins who were into bodybuilding back then) and I had watched my fair share Stallone and Arnold. And so that was what I wanted.
I didn’t get that guy. My husband is on the opposite end of that spectrum a real Mr Slim. But I love him to pieces and I wouldn’t trade him for any other man on Earth. You get the idea. So have that template but be ready to adjust accordingly if need be.
That been said there are some things you may not want to compromise on an example for me was my faith and that is fine you do need to have things in common for a relationship to work.
You need to get out:
I know this might irk you if you are an introvert but you are not going to see or be seen by anyone if you’re locked up in your house, office or behind books. You have to be visible.
Been visible doesn’t mean you have to be at club houses or beer parlours. It simply means been out alone or as part of a group for some time regularly.
Go to the library to read instead of staying in your room all the time. Or go to the cinema or a park.
Find and join groups you may like like charity groups, association of people who likes books, basketball club,Chess club, the gym, the choir any group that gives you the opportunity to mix with and meet with a wide variety of people.
If you feel you will rather be loner then perhaps you really do not want a spouse?
Even if you’re the quiet type there must be a group, or groups that you can join up and belong to that will suit your personality.
Spend time in the most likely places your potential spouse might be found:
This a subset of the tip above notice I wrote places. There are usually more that one place to find a possible partner and the tip here is emphasis on the most likely place. Usually such a place will be a place you like as well.
So going to a club when you hate dancing and can’t stand the smell of alcohol and smoke makes it an unlikely place for you to find what you are looking for.
And also remember that certain places are more likely to have the wrong type of person than others. So don’t set yourself up.
Ask for Help:
Yep! Its is that time. Mumsy has started hounding you now about bringing someone home.
Well let her help and not only her, Grandpa , grandma, uncle, aunty, cousin and friend in fact anyone that you think can help and that has your best interest at heart.
I know you may not want their interference you may naturally believe that it is something you should do on your own.
But the simple honest truth here is that bottom line it is your decision at the end of the day.No one can force you into marrying their choice. So there is no harm in asking for help.
In business this is called leveraging. Your using their network to meet more people. And you may actually strike gold.
The people conducting the search here are people who know you hence are likely to bring forward a potential match which might work out.
Always look presentable:
I am not asking you to to go and spend money on expensive wear. But looking descent and presentable is a minimum.
Whether you like it or not people will judge you on your appearance and that goes for both male and female.
This doesn’t mean you have to change your style. Just look clean and tidy.
I still remember one teacher in my secondary school days who couldn’t be bothered by his appearance:scruffy hair, old shirt, dirty canvas in fact he generally always looked unkept.
One day the man turned up in school with a trimmed beard,cut hair and brand new clothes to say we students were shocked was an understatement. He was quite good looking. Who new?
A few weeks later we found out that he had a lady on his radar who was responsible for the change.
Don’t know if he ever got the girl. But he if went on to maintain the look his chances of find a potential mate had just gone up significantly.
And remember you may not find your mate but your mate may be the one to find you. Looking the part will definitely make it easier for you to be found.
Manner of approach matters:
And it doesn’t matter if you are man or a woman. And yes a woman can step up. But that is a post for another time.
Most times you lose out because you get that wrong. Either your coming on too strong, too weak, aggressive, asking questions you shouldn’t ask when just getting to know the person.
Do some research or ask trusted friends for help in that area.
Duplicate what’s working for does who have successfully been meeting the right kind of people:
You are not born knowing how to toast the opposite sex. It is a skill that you learn usually from those around you and sometimes on television which may not be the best place to learn.
So if you have a friend(s) that seem to be getting it right in attracting the right kind of potential mate find out how they are doing it.
Please do keep class and ethnicity aside:
You will significantly reduce your chances of finding a potential mate if you have this mind set.
I assure you every state in Nigeria or even the world has decent boys and girls in it that will make an excellent spouse.
Don’t shortage yourself with that line of thought. Many have forfeited and went on to settle down with one they consider their kind and have been unhappy with no love in their marriage.
Same thing with money. I meet my husband living in his brother’s house. He moved out only shortly before we got married. We slept on a mattress on the floor for a while after marriage before we got a second hand bed.
We’ve come a long way together now. All you really need here is a partner willing to work hard alongside with you and everything will fall into place.
Dating sites and mixers:
I don’t know of any dating sites in Nigeria, but I have come across a few christian ( Catholic ) dating sites that report great success in spouses finding their ideal mate.
So if you decide to try that route do so with extreme caution and have your safety and security in mind first especially if you are a lady.
Go to sites that fit your own type of person and will most likely have the kind of person you want like a Christian site.
Mixers: Gather your single friends ask them to invite a few of their own single friends for a singles gathering.
The aim of course is a hunt for a suitable life partner. You can have such a mixer done on Valentine’s day and at some later time in year.
Everyone coming for such a mixer will know from day one what the gathering is about. Play games and have fun. A partnership may just emerge from such a gathering.
Finally don’t give up searching if it’s taking time :
You may get discouraged especially if time his passing and your not meeting with success. Persistence pays yes in even in matters of the heart.
There you have it. My thoughts on getting a potential spouse. I hope these will help you, if not you pass it on to another person.
Meanwhile I will like to hear your suggestions about the best way to find your potential spouse.
Share your thoughts below and let’s discuss.